I’m not much for passing along lists or sayings from others. However, when I saw the “21 Rules for a Good Old Age” I couldn’t help myself. Thank you Kin Powell. Here are the original rules and then my thoughts about these 21 ideas as I enter “old age”. You might have several different thoughts, compared to my point of view, as you read along. 21 Rules For a Good Old Age 1. It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard earned capital. Enjoy the present moment. The sand in the clock may run out at any moment. Randy: I see so many people who seem to be saying, “I don’t really want to go on that cruise. I want to leave a little for Jaylen, Sally and Juan. Sorry. I can’t agree with that point of view. As point #1 suggests “It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it.” I always appreciated the money I earned more so than the money I might have been given. Everybody has their own point of view on this one. What I say ain’t gonna change anybody on this. You earned it. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Virtually everyone who was smart and worked hard will die with way too much money rather than dying penniless. Spend like your version of a drunken sailor! 2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their way. Randy: Lots of people might not agree with the above message. I do. We gave our children encouragement, love as well as education, food and shelter. I am a strong believer in not enabling others most especially your children and grandchildren. I feel like Carol and I got it on our own. I feel better for that. Our kids are bright, responsible and good-looking young’uns. They’ll figure it out. They already have.
3. Keep a healthy life with moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. Keep in touch with your doctor, get tested even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed. Randy: My exercise of choice is power walking. When I can’t power walk, I used my elliptical trainer. My goal is to power walk (at about 4 mph) at least four miles a day five days a week. I’ve had this goal for years. I’m met that goal, except during a couple of injury periods, every year. Sometimes I barely achieved the goal but I made it. I just received a notice that I had power walked more than 100 miles last month. I can tell you this. I see absolutely no correlation between walking 100 miles really fast and losing weight! By most health standards I do not eat well. I will eat something at McDonald’s at least 20 times/month. At three meals a day times 365 days a year there are 1,095 meals a year to eat. Because of my travel schedule I will only eat about 260 meals at home. That leaves 835 miles to eat in restaurants! I love In N Out Burgers, McDonald’s, Chick-fil-A, Waffle House, Steak N Shake, Taco Tuesday and many more of these types of eateries. I eat most of my restaurant meals in my car rather than in a restaurant. By any measure I do not eat well. Nevertheless, I have low blood pressure. My most recent BP test was 110/69. My cholesterol has never exceeded 150. I have never taken any doctor recommended prescriptions and do not to this day. My doctor tells me I am one of a very few of his patients at my age who doesn’t take any prescriptions. Nevertheless, I am always going to the doctor. In the past year I have seen at least ten doctors. Is anything wrong with me? Have I ever had a serious health problem? Knock on wood the answer is no. Why do I go to doctors? Prevention baby! A stitch in time saves nine! I can name my doctor’s names by moving from my toes to the top of my head. Recently I did a full series of heart exams. About fifteen years ago I took a coronary angiogram. That’s when they shove a wire up a place I don’t want to even mention through the arteries of your heart to see if there is any blockage. When that test was finished my heart doctor told me “I was so clean I could eat cheeseburgers every day for the next ten years and not have a problem”. When I relate that story at family get togethers my daughter shutters. She says the heart doctor should be sued for malpractice for saying that! Just this past year I was taking another series of heart exams on a preventative basis. I took a heart scan, also known as a coronary calcium scan. This is a specialized X-ray test that provides pictures of your heart that can help your doctor detect and measure calcium-containing plaque in your arteries. The test provides percentage measurements detailing exactly how blocked your arteries might be. Of course, I was thinking… thousands of McDonald’s cheeseburgers, hundreds of waffles at the Waffle House and on and on… and then on some more…what could possibly go wrong? No, I have never eaten “well” but I have enjoyed every meal. Before I got the results back from my heart doctor I asked him, “Do you remember 15 years ago when I had that angiogram and you said I could eat cheeseburgers every day for the next ten years and never have a problem?” Without breaking stride, he replied, “But that was 15 years ago”. During this same exam I had a carotid ultrasound. This is a safe, painless procedure that uses sound waves to examine the blood flow through the carotid arteries. With all of my bad eating habits I was a bit concerned about the outcome of this test as well. A female nurse maybe aged 40 or so conducted the 20 minute exam. I watched her expression during the entire time. Every time she frowned (maybe because she was thinking she had forgotten to unthaw the pot roast for the family dinner that night)…my blood pressure increased. I was pretty well convinced that when this test was finished, I would immediately be rushed into emergency carotid surgery possibly resulting in a beheading. Sorry. Don’t mind me being a drama queen but it does add to the story, doesn’t it? How did the results of these tests come out? The nurse finished up and told me this. “I have a 20 year old son. I doubt his carotid exam would be as good as yours!” Then the doctor came back with the coronary calcium scan results. Remember 0-100% was the scoring range. This was one test where I did not want to score 100%. What was my result? ZERO PERCENT! Zero frigging percent. Zero plaque. OMG. They were kidding, right? No, they were not. Just like in high school Spanish. I scored a ZERO. As I was leaving, I saw the heart doctor in the hallway. I smiled and asked, “Is it OK if I eat cheeseburgers every day for the next ten years?” He looked at me, gave me the thumbs up and nodded in the affirmative. Do I recommend that people eat the way I do? I do not. It works for me. It’s got to be in the genes I’m told. I doubt I will ever die from a heart attack. If I do? You won’t even be able to say “I told you so”. Remember this. Nobody gets out alive. Finally, I get about eight hours of sleep every night except when I am trackchasing. When I am trackchasing I sometimes drive overnight and/or sleep in my car for a couple of hours. At home Carol gets up at six every morning sometimes earlier. I roll out of bed much later than that. One more thing as a bonus for folks who have read this far. I told you I like to see doctors on a preventative basis. Sometimes my primary doctor will give me a blood test authorization to take to the lab. I have been known to check a couple of “extra boxes” just to get more results back. Carol, a high school salutatorian, in her time and what I would call a “goodie two shoes” type of lady thinks this is just about as bad a raiding the capital building. I tell her it’s my way of staying healthy.
4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then. Enjoy it together. Randy: I am married to a Bohemian who prefers not to spend much on anything. She still wears shorts and tops that she had in college. I tell her I’m glad she can still fit into that stuff. Yes, I am nothing if not a hopeless romantic. Despite my wife not “wanting anything” I go out of my way to “Always buy the best, most beautiful items” for my wife. She don’t ask for it but I say she deserves it. I’ll give you example. We were so poor when we were married, we could only afford gold wedding bands…no diamonds. About ten years after we were married, we had saved enough where a diamond could become a reality. Carol wasn’t asking for a diamond I just thought she had gone without one for long enough. A few days later I was playing golf with a guy at a public golf course. We met for the first time that day. This fellow was a nice guy. We talked about all manner of things as we enjoyed our golf. On the 17th hole I just happened to mention that I was in the market for a diamond. Wouldn’t you know it? My fellow golfer had worked in the past at the “Los Angeles diamond district” and had all kinds of contacts there. He could get me a “deal”. We made a plan for him to come over to our house in a few days and show us some stones. He did just that. He laid out a square black piece of felt on our kitchen table. We had to move the salt and pepper shakers to make room. There were at least a dozen different diamonds of all cuts, color, clarity and carat weight. Carol, being the more financially conservative in our family, was almost embarrassed to even be considering a diamond. Me, being the drunken sailor even in my 30s looked at the rocks like a kid in a candy store. My “diamond friend” explained the plusses and minuses of each stone. I had my eye on the “big one”. I bought the big one for Carol. This had to be about 40 years ago. The price was $8,000. I have no idea what that diamond is worth today. From there my friend told me he would take the diamond up to Los Angeles and return it in a week or so with the setting that Carol had picked out. This was easier than shopping at Walmart! I handed my friend, whom I had only met a few days ago at the golf course for the first time…eight thousand dollars in cash. We waved good-bye to him at the friend door as he disappeared down our street with all of the diamonds and our $8,000 in cash. We had no receipt. I had his name but I doubt I had his phone number. Gone. Down the street. All the diamonds and cash. Gone. However, there was a happy ending to this story. Just as promised he returned with just about the best diamond ring I’ve ever seen. Carol cherishes it to this day (photo above). I’ve always thought I was a good judge of people…but then doesn’t everybody. 5. Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down or the future frighten you. Randy: I will tell you that I always have some issues of the day, each and every day, that I want to “win” with. I really don’t think I have much stress in my life. However, I do put a strong focus on whatever it is I am trying to get done at this very moment. Then a couple of weeks later I have absolutely no idea what I was concerned about two weeks ago! That reminds me that there is very little to routinely be stressed about. As I say elsewhere everyone gets a chance to choose the reaction to what they encounter. Very few things in life that you think might stress you are remembered two weeks or two years later.
6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor, your surroundings, your country. We are never old as long as we have intelligence and affection. Randy: Carol and I tell each other we love each other several times every day. When one of us leaves to run an errand it’s likely we will tell each other we love each other. We’ve been married 50 years in a few weeks. Has it always been perfect? Not on your life. I never shoot for perfect, only better. I NEVER leave a get together with our kids without a hug and an “I love you”.
7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong. Randy: You only get one chance to make a good first impression…at any age.
8. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing sillier than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are. Randy: Men: When you exercise or play golf, please match your socks with the color of your shoes. If I see one more guy wearing black shoes with white socks, I’m gonna lose it. You might want to go with ankle socks too and throw away forever each pair of tube socks you own. Women: Don’t be afraid to dress like a teen-ager. Guys like that!
9. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised which old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age. Randy: I hear folks say that “people spend so much time looking at their cellphone that they don’t have time for people in their lives”. I don’t really agree with that. Much of the time when I’m looking at my phone (which is most of the time!) I am conversing with friends from all over the country and the world. I am living their experiences virtually. At the end of the day, I might know what 20-30 of my friends have been up too. I enjoy spending one on one time with people. But spending time texting, messaging, calling and sharing photos with my friends, that I don’t see in person very often, is great as well. I resisted Facebook for the longest time. I joined a couple of years ago. Now I love it and go on FB every day, multiple times. This is one of the best ways to keep up with what your friends are doing. I’m met new friends on FB. I use FB Messenger as a form of texting with my friends all around the world. I can even phone these people, and do, using FB Messenger for free. Point #9 recommends, “Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying.” This is one of the biggest problems facing our country right now in my opinion. Most people are either CNN or FOX supporters. It’s kind of like being for the Yankees or the Dodgers from back in the day…but today’s CNN/FOX situation is much more spiteful. I guess all of this political stuff is for people who don’t follow sports. I often say to my friends that it’s a good idea to listen to a little bit of both of these genres. If they are a fan of CNN or FOX, they often tell me they “listen” to the other channel as well. I normally call bullshit on that reply. At that point I gleefully tell them that listening to FOX make fun of CNN on FOX…or CNN make fun of FOX on CNN is NOT listening to the other channel. My Sirius XM pre-sets (my car doesn’t get AM radio) for my Tesla audio system includes business channels, NASCAR, Pac-12 Network, country music, NPR, FOX and CNN. I often punch the buttons to the channel I don’t really care for just to see what they are talking about. Granted I sometimes want to throw up at what I’m hearing but at least I’m trying to listen to the other side. Are you devoted to CNN? Try listening to FOX. Like FOX? Try listening to CNN. I’m not talking about tuning in for 30 seconds but for 30 minutes. Elsewhere I will tell you that people never change. I don’t believe they do. Has a FOX/CNN listener ever changed based upon what you told them? No? That’s what I thought. Maybe it’s best if everyone just goes back to listening to the channel they really like. When your channel makes fun of the other channel you can tell folks that you really do listen to the “other” channel…when you really don’t.
10. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same viewpoints as ours, but they are the future and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them of yesterday’s wisdom that still applies today. Randy: If you’re 70 and you’re talking to someone who is 20 try to remember when you were twenty. Didn’t you like the old guy who seemed to listen and respect your opinion back then more than the person who tried to blow you off? If you’re 20 and talking to someone who is 70 try to remember this. You know so much more now that you are twenty than you did when you were ten.
11. Never use the phrase: “In my time”. Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoying life. Randy: I am a firm believer in the idea that the best time of life is now and not sometime in the past. My first car was a 1955 Pontiac Chieftain. It had a two-tone paint job just like above. At the time I loved that car. It was a chick magnet or so I thought. My Pontiac didn’t have seat belts or air-conditioning or a door that would open when I walked up to the car or auto-pilot or multiple airbags or navigation or multiple ride heights or falcon wing doors or 0-60 speed capabilities in 4.4 seconds or a trip-layer-carbon air filter that virtually eliminates all bacteria from the cabin or a panoramic windshield that features what the company claims to be the largest single piece of glass ever installed on a car. My Tesla Model X has all of that stuff and a whole lot more. Oh ya! People say California has $5/gallon gas. For the most part…not really. There are places you can buy gas for $4.59/gallon if you pay cash. That don’t bother me. I supercharge my Tesla for free. Automobiles are just one of many examples of how products and lifestyles are so much improved from back in the day. If the crotchety among us had an open mind and took the time they could easily see that today is our time and it’s the best time. But…if they did that, they wouldn’t be crotchety and what fun would that be?
12. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days in the latter mode. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around. Randy: I always like to say that everyone gets a chance to choose their own reaction to the experiences they encounter. Example: Your motorcycle has a flat tire on the way to the concert and you miss the show? Bad deal or good deal? Bad deal: Missed the show. Good deal: You had a nice time talking to the AAA driver and made a new friend. 13. Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone. Randy: I never want to create a burden for anyone else. To me moving in with my kids sounds like a burden for them. Good financial planning probably goes a long way in handling this situation.
14. Don’t abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer at an NGO or collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it. Randy: Despite any limitations you might have, be they physical or mental or whatever you can do lots of things. So many things you’ll never come close to doing them all. Imagine the prisoner of war sentenced to solitary confinement for years. You’ve read of folks like this who wake up each morning in these seemingly dire straits and immediately begin imagining the trip they will take, with all of the sights, sounds and smells, of actually being there…all in their minds. When the day ends, they go to bed exhausted from a full day of travel. There is lots of stuff to do. Get out of that recliner and try some new things! Just a quick note on recliners. We’re from the Midwest…home to recliners for old folks. However, when we built our new home nearly 20 years ago our space planner/decorator was an “anti-recliner” person. She made us feel like we would be the lowest of low if we had a recliner. Net…we don’t have any recliners although I don’t judge people who do.
15. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there. Randy: I hate weddings. Not a big fan of funerals either. However, I will drive to McDonald’s for lunch just to get out of the house. Most of you know about two of the greatest golfers of all time Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer. I always pulled for Arnie. Arnold Palmer was the life of the party. Jack was more reserved. Jack once said that Arnold Palmer would prefer to be in a room with forty of his closest friends. Jack would prefer to have dinner with his closest friend. I’m with Jack on this one. I can do the “big room” and often be the leader…but I would prefer to be with a single good friend talking until past midnight.
16. Be a conversationalist. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing the desire to speak with you. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say a well. Randy: Somewhere I heard this, “The best conversationalist is the person who talks the least”. Have you ever been to a cocktail party where you say what you want to say and without any acknowledgement whatsoever the other person tells you about THEIR experience? I have. I have tried to train myself (although I am far from perfect in this matter) that when someone tells me about one of their experiences, I ask them at least one or two questions about their interest before I tell them about mine. I found that I learn much more asking questions than talking. This approach turns into a session where the other person is entertaining me!
17. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be. Randy: Do you ever worry about dying? Sometimes I do. Then I remind myself I am not planning to die today! For all but one day of my life I’m going to be right about that one. As people age, they have more aches and pains. People aren’t too interested in YOUR aches and pains. They are most interested in THEIR aches and pains. Check out point #16. When someone tells you their back hurts, I’d recommend that your first response not be explaining to your friend that YOUR back hurts worse.
18. If you’ve been offended by others, forgive them. If you’ve offended someone – apologize. Don’t drag resentment around with you. It will make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said, “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive and move on with your life. Randy: This is a hard one. Sometimes it just feels so good to hold a grudge.
19. If you have a strong belief, savor it. But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them. Randy: This is one thing I’ve learned from being a manager of people and a friend to others. People don’t really change. Rarely will they change their behavior or their beliefs. I’m guessing that folks just CAN’T change. One of my best life adages is that “people don’t really care what they read, see or hear…they care about what they believe”. Although I believe that statement to be true it really bums me out when I see people missing out on an opportunity.
20. Laugh. Laugh A LOT. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So, what’s not to laugh about? Find the humor in your situation. Randy: Carol and I know two women in our life (Northern California and Georgia) who have both told us independently that I am the most laid back guy they know. Nothing seems to bother me. When I remind Carol of that she just rolls her eyes and says, “As long as things don’t affect you then you’re laid back!” All three women are 100% correct.
21. Take no notice of what others say about you and even less of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be free, at peace and as happy as you can be! Randy: I don’t worry too much about what others think of me. Why? Because very few people spend much time thinking about me. They are way too busy thinking about themselves and what people think about them.
AND REMEMBER: Life is too short to drink cheap wine…!!!
Randy: I’m not a huge wine drinker. But I will sign on for, “I don’t want to buy cheap stuff cheap. I want to buy good stuff cheap”.
